Month: August 2013

On Sexuality and Being Taken Seriously

I’m not an expert on feminist theory and will never pretend to be. The degrees I hold are in journalism and political science. My stance on women’s rights is as simple as this: Chicks should be able to do whatever the fuck they want. Even in that sentence, I’ve already used a word, “chick” that may seem derogatory to some, but I like the word. It’s not as fun as “chick-a-dee” but it’s still fun to me so I use it. If the term “chick” bothers you just don’t type it. There you go, that is SST’s feminist theory in one paragraph.

I’m not naive. I’ve taken off clothes for a photographer but also never worn blinders. I know images of me in my underwear, or graphic sexual writing caused acquaintances to gossip and call me names, and family members to hang their heads, potential employers to doubt my credibility. I’m very thankful to have found my way into a forward thinking circle. As with the word chick, if writing about sex graphically and publicly offends you don’t do it. Keep it for your secret text messages. Ditto to the nakey photos. Keep them to cell phone selfies. The truth is 97% of us have some naked photos and filthy words somewhere. As a writer with my personality and a small internet presence it would only make sense that I put mine out there while you keep yours private. You do your thing, I’ll do mine. I won’t judge if you don’t. I was never pressured into any photo shoots or sex writing. I chose to do them and I throughly enjoyed the opportunity to express myself.

Now regarding how my Googable sexuality relates to my professionalism. I have a butt. It’s small but it’s there. If you do enough stalking you can find a photo of it somewhere, along with a past post about butt sex if you like. A few feet above that butt I also have a brain, that while yes, thinks about sex, also thinks a lot about current affairs. My brain also thinks a lot about death. It thinks a lot about injustice, and wonders why we have a black President but about one in three black men can expect to go to jail at some point in their lives. It wonders why we are capable of a female Secretary of State but women still make roughly 20% less than men in America.

To further question by credibility I’ll quote OMC’s “How Bizarre.” I’m making moves and starting grooves. In many ways I got my start writing erotica, but now I get to write about sobriety, death, even my god damn cats. I’m working on an array of documentaries on everything from music to technology to rape to poaching. There’s a method to the madness. While I am still a young little thing with lots to learn and much progress to make both in my professional and personal life, I without a doubt would not have accomplished all I have if I hadn’t stayed true to myself, and for me, being true to myself means being open about my sexuality.

You just gotta do you.


I Caved. Here are my Thoughts on Blurred Lines.

I met Robin Thicke once. We shook hands, and had a very brief conversation. He was polite, well-spoken, and not at all rapey. After months of ignoring the song, I caved. Here are my thoughts regarding Mr. Thicke and “Blurred Lines.”

1. Earlier this year I was sexually assaulted, and while I was crying and trying to push he-who-should-not-be-named off me, the dude repeatedly said the exact words “I know you want it. I know you want it.” Therefore, I am not really an unbiased judge. But yep, those words are pretty fucking rapey, as actual rapists use it on their victims. Does this make Robin Thicke and/or his writers rapists, or the song about rape? Nope. It’s just a catchy pop song, with a team of writers who either didn’t put much thought into the lyrics, or knew exactly what they were doing, because the controversy that followed gave the song an absurdly more amount of attention than it would have garnered on its own. I realize the majority of listeners didn’t have the same experience, and just listen to the song boogieing in the club, but in case you were curious why people call it “rapey” hopefully that sheds a little insight.

2. What rhymes with hug me? I’ll tell you, “thug wanna-be” does! Contact me about my freelance writing rates.

3. I miss the old days of Robin Thicke when far less people knew who he was and he mostly gave interviews to Essence about the struggles of black women.

4. The video does not offend me. Hot naked girls are the oldest trick in the book. Who cares about the lyrics when there’s a terrific pair of tits in your face! All it takes is a simple Google Image search of my name to see I feel A-OK about women being naked.

5. I’m sober, never go to clubs, and it’s not my type of music anyways, but for a nice replacement controversial song about wanting to tear apart a chick, when was the last time you listened to “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails? You let me violate you…I want to fuck you like an animal! Now that is some fucked-up shit, but at least it gives me a boner. Well done Trent, well done.